“I do not miss you. I miss the way you made me feel.”
- Part of Me by Noah Kahan
Maybe one day, I could finally look back on those days in a different way
A perception of wanting to cross that river
Everybody may think I am crazy, and the thought of what is to come makes me shiver
Is it possible to reach this level of insecurity, when the sky is already grey?
Like a flash of bright lights, I have been blinded in the middle of the night
I try to roam free of all this story, yet the thought of you holds me back
It takes me back to where we started, somewhere where I knew no anger nor spite
A time where we ruled the world and our mischiefs were our motivation to keep us on track
It was only when we started to build something, that you decided to embark on a new cruise
One where I could not follow, one where you could not write to me
How are things there? Is your common day filled with a smile instead of a bruise?
It has been thirteen years, and yet I dare not to accept what my eyes cannot see
Do you feel the sun there? The same way it felt when you were here?
I feel void tonight, because I cannot find something to make me strong again
A heavy hand holds me down, forcing me to accept that this is real
I feel lost in the midst of these memories, resembling stories of ghosts in vain
What am I supposed to do, when you were the one with whom I was supposed to grow up?
The one who would give kids wicked advice with me
Heavy is the responsibility of living for you, as heavy as is the task to keep my chin up
And as I quote Mike Shinoda, I ask myself out loud, little Mikey:
“Have I been lost all along?
Was there something I could say, or something I should not have done?
Was I lost all along?
Was I looking for an answer when there never really was one?”
- Looking For An Answer