Wherever you are, whatever it is that you are doing, whatever feelings are running right now in your veins, puncturing your heart, it does not matter. I want you to understand something else. Something that took human beings a considerable number of years not just to understand, but rather to implement correctly in their lifestyle.
I want you to know that it is okay to feel whatever it is you are feeling inside of you. Remember, you are human.
You are entitled to have emotions, to break down in tears, to cry out for help until you feel that agonizing pain in your chest. You have the right to scream through the silence. In silence.. You do not have to bottle all those emotions, all this pain, all those tears inside of you. For you will be just torturing yourself even more. Heck, even superheroes feel like that from time to time, to the point that they need someone to lean on when times are rough. We are not gods. We all hurt. We all fall.
I want you to know that it is okay to feel like you do not belong somewhere.
Remember, you are human.
Irrespective of the pain you feel because of your surroundings, that internal need to sometimes just burst in tears and run away from your friends and family is normal. Sometimes, it just feels like nobody understands us because we did something that we simply cannot tell anyone about, even though that is the thing we crave most. They say the truth will always set us free, but how do we cope with it when we know that the truth will not make us or someone we love happy? Do we reveal it? Or do we keep our loved ones happy and safe from the pain, in order for us to remain part of the group?
Once again, you are not perfect. It is okay to feel disappointed. This will force you to grow; to become a better version of yourself, until the day you become someone else’s hero. However, remember this:
“Before I save someone else, I have got to save myself”.
– Save Myself by Ed Sheeran
I know, it is a terribly long process. But do not worry, for you are not the only one in that situation. I know I am there as well. I will admit that there were several times when I just wanted to give up and lay down, feeling that I could not go on anymore. Every step felt heavier than the last. The inability to look in the mirror in the morning did not help either. The desire to simply escape any sort of eye contact so that no one would ask you what is wrong with you. We have all been there – repeatedly.
It is okay to feel lost at sea, caught up in the storm of all those weighing thoughts that haunt us day and night. That is at least what my father told me. He also told me that it is not okay to dwell there. We need to keep pushing forward to be happy again. Life is too short for that.
So how do you keep going when the worst thing has happened?
What do you need to change inside to survive?
Who do you have to become?
The answer is quite simple: there will always be someone out there looking out for you. Telling you: “It is okay. The pain will not last forever. You are almost at the end of your misery. Keep pushing forward.”
It is when things seem worst that you must not quit.
“Did you see the flares in the sky? Were you blinded by the light?
Did you feel the smoke in your eyes? Did you?
Did you see the sparks filled with hope? You are not alone
‘Cause someone is out there, sending out flares”
– Flares by The Script