“All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as water. And that’s the tragedy of living”.
– Iain S. Thomas
She came to him in a state he never saw before. Pale face, blurred vision, red eyes and mascara ruined. She laid on his shoulder for a minute or two and then shouted out in a very aggressive way:
”I love too much. I always look past people’s bad actions and see the best in them. I really feel guilty towards myself. I just don’t understand how someone can put themselves in such a position every single time. They know what hurts them the most and yet they always choose to rely on it when it comes to healing. I used to think that being understanding and going to the bottom of things is what will make this world a better place. It turns out I should have known that this is what destroys it instead.”
He looked at her. He was speechless, yet so full of thoughts. So many things to tell her yet thoughts are not always convertible into words. He just stood there, confused about the fact that someone can be so harsh on themself for just being kind and caring. He took her hand and looked at her with all the hope his eyes could carry, unable to say a word. Thankfully, his look spoke more than all the languages in the world.
She went home that night, took her notebook and got lost in her writings. Staring at those blank hopeless pages, she felt like she was staring at her best essay ever, as the pages were filled with hope, answers and closure. She wrote:
“What if I loved too much? How desperate for people’s acceptance will I be if I ever tried to be someone else?”
She then went on with the following:
“Wear that blessing, girl. Forget about the actual necklaces you buy from jewellery stores. Wear it and let it be the necklace of your pure heart because as ludicrous as it sounds, some people are too tired for love.
Why did some people leave me when all I did was treat them as good as I possibly could? What did I do to deserve this? Your empathy is special because it indicates the maturity level you have reached. You understand someone instead of trying to destroy them. No one is born evil or bad but as we all know, life goes on and replaces the good within us with the bad and vice-versa. Unfortunately for some, the bad takes over. You did not allow this to happen to you. You always believed – you still do even after all the hurt your heart has endured – that deep in their roots all flowers keep their light.
The undeniable fact is that life damaged each and every one of us in ways we could never go back to being who we once were. Sometimes the way we react to things is just a defence mechanism born from our lack of self-esteem. Other times it’s just an action to prove to ourselves that we still matter and we are strong enough in the face of adversity. In your life people have done you wrong but don’t ever think of taking revenge into your own hands. The sweetest and most respectful revenge you will ever be able to execute on someone is to step out of their lives and find the closure you needed. Nobody is ever going to give you all the answers you ask for. Sometimes the only answer you’ll ever get is no answer at all. Some things are only meant to be understood from within.
Trust that life is good because there are other people like you who will give up everything for you.
We all need someone to love us for who we are. Someone who will never, even from a distance, hold a grudge against us. Remember that it takes both sun and water to grow a healthy flower. Embrace the ones who will give you all the care you ever need to flourish flowers.